- Person: *reblogs my post*
- Me: oh thank god they still follow me
Late twenties, white, identifying as sort-of-agender with occasional girly/boyish moments, they-pronouns, vegan, atheist witch (Yes. Shut up.), currently in Edinburgh, poor student at fancy university, linguist, ADHD, depression, anxiety, PTSD, bi/pansexual/romantic, poly.
Ask me anything
This blog is a mix of kittens, social justice stuff, occasional personal posts and a sprinkle of nerdery. Oh and sometimes porn. I'm really bad at tagging but let me know if you need anything tagged and I'll try my best. :)
We do know something about most men who rape. For example, numerous studies have found that while they tend to be more emotionally constricted than nonaggressive men, and are often angry and hostile to women, most of them are psychologically “normal.” The psychologist David Lisak points out that the old stereotype of the rapist was derived in part from extensive studies with incarcerated rapists, many of whom committed acts of grievous violence against their victims, who were often strangers. But according to Lisak, research over the past twenty years clearly demonstrates that the vast majority of rapes are perpetrated by what he calls “undetected rapists,” and they usually know their victims. Undetected rapists are men who typically behave in stereotypically masculine ways, see sex as conquest, and are hypersensitive to any perceived slight against their manhood. But they are not crazy, and they are not sociopaths. “There is simply no evidence, save the rape itself,” Katharine Baker writes in the Harvard Law Review, “suggesting that all or even most rapists are objectively depraved.” Chillingly, she goes on to say that given the social norms that encourage it, there is evidence that rape is “culturally dictated, not culturally deviant.” Jackson Katz, Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help (via wretchedoftheearth)
All pedophiles are trash, no exceptions. There is no “Kink-shaming” about it. Protect survivors at all costs.
I’m wondering if pedophilia is innate like sexuality or not. I mean, I’m all against child rape, but what if there’s someone who’s a pedophile but doesn’t act upon it?
i hate that question. it’s one that apologists use a lot
punch anyone who thinks about children that way in the face. the endThey were simply just asking a question. You could have replied in a kind manner and answered their question to the best of your ability.kuzlalalathat was a perfectly acceptable question to ask and don’t feel bad for wondering. In the grand scheme of things “wrong and right” are concepts we made up and that’s why people hate answering questions about moral relativity. In my opinion “thinking but not doing” is alright to a certain extent. As long as no one gets hurt, I don’t see the true problem. While is it wrong to think about children in such a manner, if you’re not acting on the thought in an illegal fashion then technically you’ve done nothing wrong.
kuzlalala and I are friends, I should point out
when I responded the way I did it was to get across the point that this is indeed a question that pedophile apologists use a lot, which is something that kuzlalala might not have known. i know that kuzlalala was asking an innocent question, but that’s not usually in the context I encounter it so I wanted to make sure she knows that
and people still shouldn’t think about kids that way. If they do, they should do something about it.
Yes they should and that is exactly why statements like “All pedophiles are trash” is not helpful and does nothing to protect survivors because it will keep people from getting help. Pedophilia means sexual attraction to children and it’s a thing and those people usually can’t get attracted to adults. There are treatments for that but they aren’t offered in many places. And I really really respect every person who decides to completely give up any chance of sexual activity (because that is usually a result of the treatment) in order to not hurt children. People asking kuzlalala’s question is the reason these treatment options exist.
The other thing is that most sexual abuse of children isn’t done by pedophiles but by people who realize that it’s easier to exploit a child than it is to exploit an adult. So really, all child abusers are trash, not only those who are also pedophiles.
Tried to find resources about dermatillomania and now I’m depressed. Also didn’t really find much except “Get a therapist” which is sort of not on my list of options atm. Hmpf.